14 Hilarious Things the Average Man Thinks While Going Down on You!!

1. I should have looked up "cli.toris" on
Wikipedia before this whole thing
started.
2. Is she still watching TV? I can't tell if
her eyes are closed or if she's still
watching Conan...wait, is she looking at
me? No, her eyes are closed. Are they?
Yeah. Wait, no?
3. Does she want me to touch her
b0.0bs? I think I can reach her b0.0bs
from here. Nope, I can't. I'm just kind
of awkwardly clawing at her rib cage.
Abort.
4. Oh, f.ck. I have to cough. Will she
notice if I cough directly into her
v@gina? No, don't run the risk.
Suppress it, dude.
5. Dammit, she did want me to touch
her b0.0bs. Now she's touching her
own b0.0bs. Wait, this is awesome.
STOP STARING AND KEEP GOING.
6. Are we going to have s3x soon? (Full
disclosure, this one is pretty much being
thought the whole time. It's also being
thought when a man isn't giving 0.ral,
like when he's engaging you in casual
conversation, or eating a hot dog, or
sleeping. Men are thinking this about
every woman they come into casual
contact with all day).
7. Whatever happened to Ashanti? Is
she still making music? I have to
remember to Google her later.
8.My beard is going to smell like v@gina
later. I think I'm ok with this. I know
I'm ok with this. (NOTE: This only
pertains to men with beards)
9. Lying on my stomach with an
erection isn't ideal. Where the f.ck do I
put my d.ick right now? Ok, I'm going to
try to just point it down...nope.
Everything happening to my d.ick is
awful right now. Would she notice if I
cut a hole in her mattress and made
myself a cock burrow?
10. I STILL CAN'T TELL IF YOUR EYES
ARE CLOSED FROM THIS ANGLE. ARE
YOU LOOKING AT ME? SHOULD I WINK
OR SOME SHIT?
11. Ok, she's arching her back. Her right
leg is twitching. I'm the f.cking man
right now. Don't lose focus. Do not
forget to look up Ashanti's career
trajectory later.
12. SHE IS LITERALLY CRUSHING MY
HEAD WITH HER THIGHS WHERE DID
SHE GET THIS STRENGTH FROM SHE IS
PUSHING MY HEAD INTO HER v@gina IF
THIS IS HOW I AM GOING TO DIE THEN
SO BE IT I WILL LEAVE THIS WORLD AS I
CAME INTO IT
13. She came? Yeah. Yeah? Ok, yeah.
I'm allowed up now.
14. Alright, I'm going to wait for about
two seconds and then just try and put
my p3nis in her v@gina. No fear.

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