Watching p*rn can save your love life

Conventional wisdom tells us that p*rn
is not only damaging to our psyches, but
also destructive to relationships.
But who says p*rn is so damaging to
monogamous unions. Before we consign
it to the relationship deal breaker
dustbin, perhaps we should re-examine
our prejudices about p*rn to see if it's
really as bad as everyone says it is.
Salon columnist Tracy Clark-Flory
recently tackled this very subject in
'Does p*rn hurt relationships?'
Clark-Flory cites a highly suspect survey
conducted by the folks at Cosmopolitan,
who seem to be taking a break from
offering silly s*x tips, that has
determined that watching p*rn ruins s*x
because it destroys women's s*xual
self-confidence.
The fact is- we cannot ignore
p*rnography even if we occasionally find
it distasteful.
According to Gizmodo, 25 per cent of all
search engine requests are p*rnography
related. That's 68 million searches a day
and a lot of libidinous viewing.
But despite the dubious claims made by
the pages of Cosmo, watching p*rn
doesn't have to ruin your confidence
and s*x life.
Under the right circumstances and in
the proper frame of mind, watching
p*rn together can actually do wonders
for your s*x life.
"p*rn can actually help foster emotional
and s*xual intimacy," the Huffington
Post quoted Colorado psychologist
David Schnarch, author of 'Resurrecting
s*x: Solving s*xual Problems and
Revolutionizing Your Relationship' as
saying.
Fantasy is part of a healthy s*x life, and
p*rn adds to the repository of s*xy
scenarios in our heads.
It can also inspire couples to
experiment more in the bedroom (or
outside of it if that's where their
fantasies lead them).
p*rn is a shared experience. Any time a
couple can share a hobby, or even
better, a s*xual experience, they are
investing in the longevity of their
relationship.
Going solo with p*rn is fine, but why
not include your partner. Just make sure
the kids are out of earshot before
proceeding.
It's an easy way to learn about your
partner's fantasies. Some people are
very shy or ashamed about sharing their
s*xual fantasies with their partners.
Others don't even know what really
turns them on, much less what gets
their spouses' engines revved.
Thanks to the Internet, there's a
veritable smorgasbord of video clips
with professionals and amateurs playing
out any and every possible s*xual act.
Watching p*rn can speed up foreplay.
In this modern world when everything
and everyone is moving at an
accelerated pace, the term "quickie" can
take on a new significance.
And if you have young children who are
perpetually just one knock away from
the bedroom door, you may need to
expedite your intimate moments.
It also shatters the myth that you can
(and should) only be attracted to your
mate.
We need to admit and accept the fact
that our partner can be turned on by
others.
Chances are great that you and/or your
mate will be fantasizing about someone
other than each other at some point
during the course of a long-term
relationship.
Watching p*rn together allows you to
see your partner's arousal at the image
of another woman for what it is a
biological response to a stimulus.
There's no need to feel threatened and
insecure.
It may lessen the need to act out on
s*xual desires outside of your
relationship.
If couples can get down and dirty
together, it may obviate the need for
"extracurricular activities."
If you're s*xually satisfied by your
partner, you're less likely to look for
gratification elsewhere.
Some think that watching or thinking
about another is tantamount to
"cheating" on your mate, but this sort of
mindset ignores a central fact of human
s*xuality most of us crave variety.
Allowing your spouse to look at
someone else out in cyberspace won't
wreck your relationship, but forbidding
him/her to do so might put a strain on
it.
And since it's probable that p*rn will be
viewed, giving permission allows for
honesty and openness about one's
habits rather than feeling like they are
shameful secrets that must be kept
hidden.

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