How my family left me and crashed my soul

HOW MY WIFE AND KIDS LEFT ME. AND
CRUSHED MY SOUL.
My Name is Francis Muroki. I am 55 Years
old.I have worked in senior positions in
the media and trotted the globe on media
assignments.
For the better part of My career,I covered
former president Daniel Arap Moi on his
many official trips abroad. And I carefully
balanced My work and family life, giving My
family the best I could.
And Just when My marriage appeared calm,
I was rudely jostled out of My comfort
zone in a devastating way.
I got married at the Holy Family Basillica in
1986. My wife and I exchanged Golden
Wedding Rings which had arrived from THE
VATICAN itself in Rome! And among the
many Wedding gifts we received was a
huge congratulatory portrait from the
POPE HIMSELF! Pope John Paul,the 2nd.
Severally, I had gone to Rome on official
duty while working in the media and for
the Catholic Church as an editor and writer
of the various magazines owned by the
Church. And that's how I met and made
friends with the Pope.
It was my day for double blessings when I
got a job in 1985 in the editorial
department of the then Kenya Times
Media Trust in Nairobi. I also met and fell
in love with a young girl working in the
advertising department. We courted for a
year and our love culminated with us
walking down the aisle in 1986.
Our marriage was blessed with three
children who arrived in quick succession.
They were all born at the Nairobi Hospital.
At the time, the hospital demanded early
booking and deposit payment three
months in advance for any woman who
wished to deliver there. I wasn’t worried
since I wanted to give my family the best
start in life.
Our first child was born in 1987 had bouts
of serious tonsillitis for the better part of
his childhood. I recall frequenting hospitals
and paying huge bills until he finally
outgrew his condition.
Our second child was born in 1988 after a
very difficult pregnancy. We were so afraid
that the baby would be born prematurely.
Luckily, this wasn’t the case and the baby
girl was born healthy.
And in 1990, our last child was born
through a Caesarean section. After the
Caesarean section, my wife developed a
hernia – a very painful condition that cost a
lot of money to treat.
Her medical bills were so high that I
overspent on my medical cover from my
employer. I also took some time off work
to care for her.
As a result of spending too much time out
of the office and claiming more than I
should have on the medical cover,
everything snowballed into a huge problem
and I eventually lost my job at a time when
I desperately needed it.
Thankfully, while I was employed I had
bought land and built a beautiful
permanent home in Nairobi’s Ongata
Rongai area where we settled.
Additionally, we were a prayerful family
and went to church together.
My priority was to give my children a good
foundation and we enrolled them in good
private schools in Meru, Molo and Kisumu.
I was big about cars and often sent my
wife to Dubai to buy and ship our personal
cars and matatus, since we operated a fleet
of matatus in Ongata Rongai area.
This was also a chance to expose her to the
world and broaden her knowledge. All the
vehicles were registered in her name
because I was a believer that in a
marriage, there should be no division of
property.
Eventually in 2007, I left the mainstream
media and had spells of being jobless. The
financial situation got worse and
progressively started affecting our
marriage.
Luckily by the end of 2007, I got a short-
term contract with the United Nations
Development Programme.
By the time the contract ended, our
children had completed their high school.
Our firstborn enrolled at Strathmore
University in 2008, the same year I also
enrolled for an evening programme for a
communications degree at the Daystar
University. In 2009, our other two children
enrolled at the Kenya Methodist University
(KEMU) in Nairobi.
Luckily, my wife who at the time had a
steady job in the insurance industry,
helped pay their school fees.
I struggled to complete my course at
Daystar as well as look for a job. It wasn’t
easy and my wife was getting jittery about
my jobless status and failure to provide for
my family.
Sometimes it was embarrassing when my
children asked me to buy them something
but I could not afford it.
And With time they lost respect for me and
my wife didn’t help matters, as she would
put me down in their presence. She also
changed her attitude towards me.
And then One night in 2010, I fell and hurt
my knee near our home as I was coming
from evening classes. My family was not
bothered when I got into the house in
bloodstained clothes. That was the painful
beginning of my isolation.
Subsequently, I came home one evening in
January 2011 and was held captive by my
family. My son secured the front door with
a chair and kept guard so that I couldn’t
get out. My wife and children humiliated
me for hours.
They were spoiling for a fight. My eldest
son even openly challenged me to a
physical fight, as he verbally abused me. It
was a very painful experience.
After this incident, my wife hired transport
and packed all our household items. ALL
OUR HOUSEHOLD ITEMS! And walked out
of our 24-year marriage taking along the
children.
I was devastated and moved into a lodging
in Ongata Rongai until I was totally unable
to pay it.
I moved back into my empty home where
I still live alone to this day.
I developed severe depression and started
drowning my sorrows in alcohol.
On learning about my marriage break-up,
my mother went into shock and collapsed.
She never regained consciousness and died
in hospital three weeks later, towards the
end of April 2011.
After her burial, I picked a few items from
her house and returned to my house to
start life afresh.
At 55, I am lonely and only left with
memories of my now broken family. I am
back to where I started as a young man,
with nothing to my name.
I have become a total stranger to my
family as was evident in mid last year
during my children’s graduation. I was not
invited and only learnt about the gradation
from family friends. The bible has been my
best companion, adviser and consoler.
I thought I had done the best for my
family but today am wiser. Even when you
think you are comfortable and settled in
your seemingly lasting marriage, don’t bask
in your glory.
I have since learnt that, just because your
spouse is a Christian doesn’t mean they
are saints.
And I want to leave You with a quote from
the famous philosopher,Friedrich
Nietzsche...He said,''It is not a lack of
Love, but a lack of Friendship that makes
unhappy marriages.”
Friends WOULDN'T abandon Friends.
Friends DON'T Leave Friends in trouble.
Friends DON'T walk away when things get
rough. Friends DON'T wake Up one day
and forget EVERYTHING You've been
through.
I thought she was My friend. Turns out I
was dead Wrong.
I Miss My Family.
Now I know what it means to have and
lose a family.
I pray that Your marriages don't end up as
mine did and also,If You aint married
Yet,DON'T RUSH.
THINK HARD. Think Very Hard before

Category: Diaspora news